Fan girl fantasy to Fan girl reality
by Sharpie153
Summary: What happens when a girl's fantasy become a reality
1. Infomation

Precursor to the pilot episode to the life of the Akatsuki

Warning: this is our first work, so to begin:

We do not produce, condone or affiliate with yaoi, plain and simple; this is to stop animosity and to put this out there in case anyone brings forth requests.

Yuri is OK, also to stop any animosity from this, one of us is homophobic and as homo is used to derogate guys, male = homo, female = lesbian, man = no, girl = okay.

The homophobe is a guy, please understand, the other is a girl, not only a girl but a fan-girl, her potential husbands are Kisame, Kakuzu, Hidan, Zetsu and maybe Tobi, but that's pushing it.

EVERY Akatsuki member is put into a pairing, so as to make sure no-one is lonely, except Orochimaru who prefers to be alone as he can use other peoples bodies to masturbate.

Girl claims religion as Jashinist, and as suck claims masochism as a lifestyle, so if this appears, you have been forewarned and she cannot help it, Hidan makes her so.

If you wish us to use specific techniques in writing (BDSM, Bondage, Rape, or other) send them in with your email address to sharpieandgizmo and we will get back to you.

This does not follow the storyline (Kisame excluded) or any already set equivalent paths set out in Naruto as we do not own it.

Girl is undergoing hormonal difficulties and randomness may apply, if it gets out of control, please notify us and we will try to restrain, torture and rectify the problem-maker.

Profanities will apply as it is core to some characters. Example, Hidan , enough said.

**WE DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND NARUTO CHARACTERS.**

Now… On to the Character Profiles.

Character Profiles

Kisame Hoshigaki

Age: 32 Current Partner (Citrus): Aisu Satsuriku

Skin colour: Blue-ish Sexual Preference: Heterosexual

Preferred weapon: Samehada Favourite Music Genre: Rock & Metal

Favourite Movie: Sharknado

Favourite Games: Dragonball Z Boudakai HD Collection & Bioshock 2

Current Gaming Consoles: Xbox 360 & PS3

Backstory (original upbringing used) : Kisame is a family oriented person who believes in cleansing of the soul and polishing of the sword AKA he cleanses his soul at the strip club and polishes his sword using the internet and dirty magazines (does not believe masturbating equals loss of virginity) he's job with the Akatsuki is the undertaking of lunch collection and the elimination of corrupt politicians (anyone in government against Akatsuki morals, Beliefs and members), He spends his days of under the closest table with empty Sake bottle in hand, on the table, on the ceiling fan, and wedged in-between his girlfriend's breasts.

Itachi Uchiha (Literal translation = weasel sparkly) (proper translation = sparkly weasel)

Age: 21 Current Partner (Citrus): Arelosia Nekohana

Skin Colour: slightly tanned Sexual Preference: Heterosexual

Preferred weapon: GenJutsu Favourite Music Genre: 70's & 80's

Favourite Games: Sonic Adventure and Skies of Arcadia

Current Gaming Consoles: Sega Dreamcast and PSX

Backstory: Itachi was a lonely boy, he lived in a house where his father expected everything from him, his mother didn't talk to him and his little brother talked too much to him. He shunned them all and left his home in search of greener grasses, the night he left his whole clan was assassinated, including his little brother Sasuke by an enemy ninja, who transformed into an Itachi disguise, when Itachi found out he was overjoyed at his newfound freedom but sorrow that he could never return to Konoha ever again. He sought refuge and found it in the halls of the Nekohana clan estate where he improved his ninja skills considerably and found Arelosia, who was undergoing the same kind of life he was having excluding the annoying sibling. So he told her of his previous actions and took her away with him. After 3 years of free travel and collecting bounties for income they found refuge in the halls of the Akatsuki Hideout where they were tested and allowed a place in the organisation.

Hidan

Age: 23 Current Partner (Citrus): Kayla (Nickname: KittyKitty MeowMeow)

Skin Colour: White normally/Black in combat Sexual Preference: Heterosexual

Preferred Weapon: 3 Bladed Scythe Favourite Music Genre: Death Metal

Favourite Games: Splatter House & Mortal Kombat (All Excluding MK V DC)

Current Gaming Consoles: Anything that plays Gory Bloody Extremely Graphic Games

Backstory: loved to blend live mice as a child, he always forgot to stick the lid on though, Hidan had no parents growing up, he fashioned his first scythe from lawn mower blades and a kendo stick, he then proceeded to dismember everyone in a 300 m radius, he was 12 yrs old, for some unforeseeable reason the people of this village didn't appreciate this, but they weren't around for long, he grew lonely and found a large book that he couldn't read so he looked at the pages and recreated what he saw, unknowingly summoning a god with the same personality traits he possesses, the god told Hidan that he was created using Hidan's image and mind and gifted him with a present that only the craziest sadists could dream of, he gave him immortality and an unbreakable and recreated form of his original scythe, complete with intricate carvings in the blades and hilt that when blood has been drawn, reveal prayer diagrams of Jashin and partial images of Jashin himself. He then was guided by his one master to the door of the Akatsuki Hideout and granted immediate membership for his previous actions.

Kakuzu

Age: 91 Current Partner (Citrus): Taiyou Satsuriku

Skin Colour: Brown Sexual Preference: Heterosexual

Preferred weapon: Tentacle Threads Favourite Music Genre: Rap & Rock & Metal

Favourite Games: Big Money (PopCap) & Evil Genius & Borderlands 1+2

Current Gaming Consoles: All Major Consoles (Including 2DS and 3DS)

Backstory: '_he was a poor boy from a poor family_'(we do not one this song or Queen) he grew up on a wooden floor because the house had no walls or a roof. His family lived off of spit roasted rat, stewed cockroaches and if they were lucky, the odd brussel sprout. It was harsh living in a lush, beautiful spring environment. You may think this sounds stupid, as they could of cut down the closest tree to make walls and a roof but laws got in the way, but not just any laws, in laws. You see, the in-laws owned the whole forest and that means every strip of bark. If anything was to be taken, they would be sentence to death. So when a 7yo Kakuzu found the dirt road out of town, he took it. After that he took up bounty hunting to make a living for himself. A little while later he fell into a hole filled with a weird goo made from experimental jutsu performed by Orochimaru's grandfather. That goo made him immortal. Years later (and we mean yeeeeaaaarsss later) he found the Akatsuki and finally had a home (awwww lol)

Zetsu

Age: Unknown Current Partner (Citrus): Bara

Skin Colour: Black & White Sexual Preference: Heterosexual

Preferred Weapon: OM NOM NOM NOM

Favourite Music Genre: Both agree on Nirvana

Favourite Games: Cut the Rope Akatsuki Edition & Fallout 3 + New Vegas

Current Gaming Console: special edition Xbox 360 made of Human Organs (it actually works!)

Backstory: Zetsu was two twin brothers named Kuro and Shiro. Kuro was mean, moody, temperamental and smart but one SOB. Shiro was shy, quiet, and selfless, out of tune with what was going on and was obsessed pop rocks. They were taken away from their abusive parents by the department of human services and then were sent away to a scientific research facility for scientific experiments. After countless experiments, both children presented great skill as ninja. But Shiro could not handle assault techniques and Kuro had no sense of stealth. So after careful contemplation and convening meetings with the village elders they decided to research into human unison jutsu (fusing two different people into a singular one) this took longer than expected and the children had already grown up into their teen years and had developed feelings for some of the research staff, even after these staff members trying to dissuade the elders the decision stood and the jutsu was to go ahead. It was all going smoothly until the stage where they were to be combined, some idiot brought in his birthday cactus and tripped over the 2cm tall speed bump (which shouldn't have been there, mind you) and threw it as he fell, but it didn't land inside the jutsu circle and no-one paid heed to the now screaming people who would turn into the screaming person, the elders thought this to be a regular part of this jutsu and after 4 days they finally were brought together. When this happened he was dubbed Zetsu and after being named a large spiked plant-like crown burst from his neck ( it seemed as though the cactus was holding on to a Venus fly trap seed, as this was what it looked like) when this appeared he had a psychological fit, killed all the research staff and fled to forests unknown, after 100 years he was found gorging on spit roasted intestines and sautéed brains, he was then offered a chance to 'bite back' at society through the Akatsuki as their spy and wireless camera.

Sasori

Age: 35 Current Partner (Citrus): Esmeralda

Skin Colour: Preserved Sexual Preference: Heterosexual

Preferred Weapons: Puppets Favourite Music Genre: Metallica (Master of Puppets)

Favourite Games: Tactics Ogre The Knight of Lodis & Saints Row 2+3

Current Gaming Consoles: GameBoy Advance and Nintendo Wii

Backstory: At a young age Sasori played with action figures until someone showed him how much better it is if the action figures had strings. After that his parents saw him and eventually showed him how to make and control small puppets. He continued to practice and make bigger and more elaborate puppets until someone from the Sand Village puppet corps taught him to battle with puppets and to created deadly weapons with poisons. With continuing practice he joined the puppet corps where he discovered how to make human puppets. Years later he became the head of the puppet corps and with careful research he turned in himself into a puppet. Later on a mission he found the third kazekage's corpse and turned him into a human puppet. When the villages found out they blamed his death on him and he was forced to leave the village.

Deidara

Age:19 Current Partner (Citrus): Candice

Skin Colour: White Favourite Music Genre: Heavy Metal (Hammerfall)

Preferred weapon: Explosive Clay Figurines

Favourite Games: World of Tanks & Team Fortress 2

Current Gaming Consoles: PC and MAC

Backstory: Deidara had a massive family of 7 brother and 7 sister with his parents. Deidara was the youngest but got the first born treatment because all of his siblings had jobs and families and he did nothing. His parents told him to do something or he would be shipped out like the kid down the street (it was Hidan). After that he decided to sell artwork. There was only one problem. He had already blown it up. After all his art was fleeting, it was in an instant and an explosion. As he could not sell his art because he had already blown it up, he start to be a pyro technician. He did that successfully for 4 years until he made a firework to big and created a giant crater were his village was. After this he joined the Akatsuki because people did not appreciate his 'art'.

Tobi

Age: Unknown (Mental age: 8) Current Partner (Citrus): Lola

Skin Colour: Unknown Sexual Preference: what's that?

Preferred Weapon: none Favourite Music Genre: anything with candy in it!

Favourite Games: Viva Piñata & Candy Crush

Current Gaming Consoles: iPad & Xbox 360

Backstory: I don't think he even knows what it is.

Pain

Age: Deceased Current Partners (Citrus): Kami & Konan

Skin Colour: Corpse Sexual Preference: Heterosexual

Preferred Weapon: Rinnegan

Favourite Music Genre: Anything with an electric guitar (except surfie music)

Favourite Games: Rocksmith 2014 & Plasma Sword & Power Stone 1+2

Current Gaming Consoles: Sega Dreamcast & Xbox 360

Backstory: Pain was the bastard child of a feudal lord who was in charge of the world annual convening of the Kages and his father didn't want him but also didn't want to give him up as his error would be made public so he locked him up in the dungeons for his whole childhood. Pain did not know anything of his origins growing up except that the room smelt, the floor was damp and cockroaches were icky, he spent most of his time on his tattered hammock thinking about not very much as he didn't know much at all. One day he found a hole in the wall big enough to escape from but small enough as to not be noticed by the patrolling guards, so he took his chance and crawled out and saw light and colours and a whole lot of open space, until the guards saw him, took him for a commoner and put him into the CBD of the village. With this freedom pain somehow managed to waltz out the front gate, fall of a cliff, get back up again and found rabbits delectable. Later in his travels he meet a young girl named Konan, who unlike him, did not grow up in a dungeon. They continued to walk around, until they found a big set of double doors and Konan went 'that's scary' and Pain said 'I could get a group of people together to take over the world with this house' and then Konan slapped him. And that slap had the power to change his whole psychological make-up to change him into the Pain we know today.

Konan

Age: None of your Business! Current Partners (Citrus): Pain & Kami

Skin Colour: White Sexual Preference: Bisexual

Preferred Weapon: Paper! Favourite Music Genre: Party Music & Dubstep

Favourite Games: Paper Toss & Paper Mario & WarioWare D.I.Y

Current Gaming Consoles: iPhone & Nintendo 64 & Nintendo DSi

Backstory: Konan was a special child, she made paper dolls, papier mache(sp?) and life size models of people (using paper). She didn't do much else, which was seen as a problem because the forests around the village were declining, being logged and torn to pieces at an unimaginable rate. So she was booted from the village and made to fend for herself (she racked up a debt of 9,999,999,999 ryo). After a week she met Pain in his deranged undead form, but she didn't mind the rabbits.

Aisu Satsuriku

Age: 28 Current Partner (Citrus): Kisame Hoshigaki

Skin Colour: Slightly Tanned Sexual Preference: Heterosexual

Hair colour: Black Favourite Music Genre: Metal in General & Rock

Eye Colour: Red

Clothing: Black sleeveless top that ends before the belly button, Black Camo Pants, Black Ninja Sandals, Large Coat w/High collar, khaki sword sheath on back, black belt holstering fan and ninja tool bag, headband around sheath strap.

Favourite Games: Sudeki & Soulcalibur IV

Current Gaming Consoles: Original Xbox & Xbox 360 & 3DS

Backstory: Older sister of Taiyou. She was orphaned due to the Shadow dragon inside her. Eventually became a genin rank ninja at 10 with her sister. At 14 became a Chunin and at 18 became a Jounin all with her sister. One day when she came back from a mission she was forced out of the village for an unknown reason with Taiyou in tow. A couple of weeks later, both her and Taiyou joined the Akatsuki.

Arelosia Nekohana

Age: 22 Current Partner (Citrus): Itachi Uchiha

Fur Colour: Black w/red socks and a purple tail-tip. Sexual Preference: Bisexual Ear Colour: Black Favourite Music Genre: Hard Rock

Eye Colour: Red (sharingan pattern)

Clothing: thin strip leather outfit from Saints Row 3 (the one in Leather & Lace with the massive metal ring in the centre)Headband around ring in the centre.

Favourite games: Conker's Bad Fur Day & Ty the Tasmanian Tiger

Current gaming Consoles: Nintendo 64 & PS2

Backstory: Arelosia grew up in the Nekohana family estate as she was the current heiress at the time, she trained at the local dojo in the arts of Kendo and Judo and excelled at these to such an extent that she was also trained in Ninjutsu, she became quite fluent in the Lightning style and the Earth style and trained for many years in these areas until the time where her and Itachi left for yonder passes.

Taiyou Satsuriku

Age:28 Current Partner (Citrus):Kakuzu

Skin Colour: Slightly Tan Sexual Preference: Bisexual

Eye Colour: Dark Purple Favourite Music Genre: Hard Rock & Power Ballads

Hair Colour: Blonde

Clothing: Red trench coat, brown denim jeans, Camo tank top, Black ninja sandals and a racoon fur hunting cap. Headband hanging out of trench coat pocket.

Favourite Games: The Darkness & State of Decay

Current Gaming Consoles: Xbox 360

Backstory: Younger sister of Aisu. She was orphaned due to the partial amount of the blood dragon's chakra inside of her. She was promoted at the same time as her sister with the ninja ranks. She and Aisu were kicked out of their village after Taiyou set some buildings on fire.

Kayla

Age: 22 Current Partner (Citrus): Hidan

Skin Colour: Black Sexual Preference: Bisexual

Hair Colour: Black (Neko) Favourite Music Genre: Star-Wars type classical music

Eye Colour: Yellow

Clothing: Short dark blue pleated skirt and a Japanese school girl sailor outfit, Headband around neck

Favourite Games: Killing Floor & Skyrim

Current Gaming Console: PC

Backstory: Kayla was a child prodigy in her village on the edge of Honolulu, she was skilled with the Needle-throwing Ukulele and the Poison Bomb Coconut Punch. She was seen as so good that the village feared her after she managed to drug the whole of the patrol guard battalion surrounding the village, WHILE ON DUTY!. She was cast out and she sought refuge, finding it by sneaking into the Akatsuki Hideout (Not an easy task).

Bara

Age:25 Current Partner (Citrus):Zetsu

Skin Colour: Tan Sexual Preference: Heterosexual

Eye Colour: Orange Favourite Music Genre: Metalcore

Hair Colour: White

Clothing: Light blue kimono style top with matching shorts, Dark blue ninja sandals, Headband around waist like a belt.

Favourite Games: The binding of Isaac & Final Fantasy X & Doom 3

Current Gaming Consoles: PC & PS 2

Backstory: Bara was a child of special circumstance, she was born under a star constellation of power, granting the newborn a special boon to assist it with life in times to come. Bara was born under the Sign of the Phantom, granting an ability that allows the lucky child to become ethereal and pass through physical objects, but must be mastered or they may materialise halfway between a wall for example. With this she got into much mischief in her childhood, getting out of her room, letting the dogs out, poisoning the stew, but best of all, she managed to evade being killed by phasing through the outer wall during an attack that devastated her whole village and then in the aftermath where the bandits were getting drunk and molesting the survivors she assassinated every last one and shepherded her remaining people to the Village Hidden in the Stone for refuge and protection though she decided she didn't want to be cooped up in a perimeter and guarded again so she went to live in the forest and be one with nature. Throughout her time there she was known as the "Dryad of the Marshes" and "Maiden of Oak" as she lived in a great tree fortress with the animals. Then came a day where the tree she lived in spoke to her ' I cannot shield you from the people anymore, just as you old home fell, so shall I, follow the Shadow Cloud on the 'morrow's sunrise and you shall finally find peace, but you will have to work for it.' So she followed its advice, phased through the front door, initiated HERSELF! And now is one of their top agents.

Esmeralda

Age: 1190 (Immortal) (Physical Age: 28) Current Partner (Citrus): Sasori

Skin Colour: Black Sexual Preference: Bisexual

Hair Colour: Deep Blue Favourite Music Genre: Techno

Eye Colour: Green

Clothing: Large Purple rippling skirt that flows all the way to the floor, a Black metal breast plate with a brass spine along the back, Vault Hunter earrings, a spider necklace.

Favourite Games: Hercules (PSX) and Ultimate Spiderman

Current Gaming Consoles: PSX and Original Xbox

Backstory: Esmeralda wasn't cut out to be a shinobi, she wasn't a very good acrobat, she couldn't focus Chakra and she didn't have the skills necessary to throw kunai. But she was, how do you put it, well equipped and a target for the eyes, so to speak and used this to her advantage. (not the advantage of persuading rich people to give her massive sums of money, but the advantage that she could seduce someone and just when they think it will all go their way, Kunai in the windpipe time!) she was an expert 'Femme Fatale' assassin, she required backup if she was going after a feudal lord or equivalent but she NEVER failed a mission, this caught the Akatsuki's eye as well and she was sent a proposition to join and everything she needed would be provided free of charge, she joined the following hour and Kakuzu had to pay for all her expenses.

Candice

Age: 18 Current Partner (Citrus): Deidara

Skin Colour: White Sexual Preference: Bisexual

Hair Colour: Red Favourite Music Genre: Pop

Eye Colour: Blue

Clothing: Brown long sleeve top, Black leggings, Blue Ninja shoes. Headband on forehead

Favourite Games: Boom Rocket Mania & Battle of the Bands

Current Gaming Console: Nintendo Wii and Xbox 360

Backstory: We do not know because she will not tell us. She also said to mind your own business. So we set up a mission to find out, who we sent was missing some fingers when they came back.

Lola

Age: 25 Current Partner (Citrus): Tobi

Skin Colour: White Sexual Preference: Heterosexual

Hair Colour: Pink Favourite Music Genre: Pokémon theme songs

Eye Colour: Changes colour with emotion

Clothing: White top with Hello Skitty on it, Red knee-length skirt with white shorts underneath, Black boots that go half way up her calf

Favourite Games: Chu Chu Rocket & Medarot Navi Kuwagata version

Current Gaming Consoles: GameBoy Advance

Backstory: Lola was the daughter of two aspiring medical ninja who were quite adept in their own fields of the science and she was inspired by this, but her parents were incredibly strict (for health reasons, of course) so she was kept inside under lock and key, she was allowed into the library and the lounge room but that was about it. She spent her time sifting through pages of medical reports, jutsu techniques and the history of medical advancements. She began training in these while her parents were backs were turned and somehow managed to summon a great badger (named Honeycomb, and he had a massive dwarven beard) who upon summoning granted her exit from her captivity, ending up in a hole right in the centre of the Akatsuki Hideout and she was almost assailed by Hidan until she proclaimed she had medical skills and he revoked his attack. She is now the Akatsuki's Chief Medical Practitioner.

Kami

Age:24 Current Partner (Citrus): Pain & Konan

Skin Colour: Brown Sexual Preference: Bisexual

Hair Colour: Green Favourite Music Genre: Your Favourite Martian

Eye Colour: Green

Clothing: Large white button-up shirt with a black zip vest on top, Black pleated skirt, Ninja boots like Sakura, Headband around thigh

Favourite Games: Lips & Dance Central

Current Gaming Consoles: Xbox 360 & Kinect

Backstory: She was born into a family of liars, cheaters and cut-throats and one of these said people got very rich doing what they did and had 3 children. When her father died, the estate had to be divide. When her older sister found out about this, she immediately called the estate guards and order Kami to be shipped to a faraway country. Half way through the voyage, Kami heard the other sibling was murdered and when she heard this, she escaped with methods unknown. She managed to slip into the hidden Akatsuki dock.


	2. Story

"What the fuck were you think" exclaimed a villager of the hidden snow.

"What do you mean what was I thinking. I was bored" Taiyou said in a spaced out tone.

"Does boredom constitute wonton destruction" asked other random villager.

"Have you ever had to stare at a ceiling for six hour trying to think what to do" retorted Taiyou.

"What going on" Aisu yelled while she rushed in.

" You sister got 'bored' and decided to raze the school, the hospital, the local building contractor, the fire station and the local prison to 'find something to do'" Yelled the first villagers.

"You both will be expelled from our land" said the village leader.

"Why am I being kicked out' exclaimed Aisu.

"Because you were 'hormonal' last month and destroyed my house" the village leader yelled.

"Blame the demon that you sealed inside of me!" Aisu exclaimed.

"Ooo burn" Taiyou teased.

"VERY FUNNY, that's exactly what most of OUR village is doing RIGHT NOW!" The Elder was not taking no for an answer

"NOW OUT" all the villagers yell

"Ok, bye now" Taiyou said happily while skipping down the road.

"I don't get to clean out my house first" Aisu asked

The villagers then look around shiftily and sang in unison "Whaaaaat hoooouuuuse"

Aisu then proceeded to slap Taiyou across the face with her sword sheath.

"You dickhead! My lifelong collection of Naruto trading cards was in there!" Aisu roared

"So what? You never played with those things anyway, you just stared at the Kisame cards." Taiyou returned

"From now on you will get your ass into line and NOT destroy everything around you for entertainment, IS THAT CLEAR!?" Aisu asked

"It's a bit rusty, but the message got through" Taiyou joked

"Walk down that dirt road, walk out that gate and do what I fucking tell you" Aisu yelled at Taiyou

"Alright, alright Ai" Taiyou said

No more than thirty minutes walking down the road were they bored of walking so Taiyou thought she would lighten the mood by being incredibly annoying.

"Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow the, follow the, follow the, follow the, follow the yellow brick road" Taiyou sang with every step.

"Must you sing that annoying infuriating song constantly" Aisu said coldly.

Taiyou said "Well we have to find some form of entertainment or I will have to start pulling the legs off these ants and imagine that they feel pain"

"Why must you be so destructive Tai" Aisu said boredly

"Come on Aisu, have you ever had fun building something" Taiyou groaned

"Yes I have" Aisu replied bitterly

"Your card collection doesn't count, I meant building something from scratch" Taiyou explained

"I know what you mean, cooking can be such a drag" Aisu agreed

-_Off in the distance-_

"What was that, is someone calling me" Shikamaru says while looking around cautiously

_-Back to the girls-_

After several minutes of talking the twins run straight into a wall

Aisu goes "Owww, my face" and Taiyou goes "Oww, my boobs".

"Where did this wall come from?" Aisu asked

Taiyou then says "Weren't you watching where you were going"

"Don't be smart, you ran into the wall too" Aisu replied

Taiyou says "Wow it's so big"

"You're thinking with your pussy at a time like this" Aisu said

"Fine, It is a great piece of rocky stature. Are you happy now" Taiyou said

"Yes I am" Aisu replied, punching the wall.

Nothing happens.

"It's so hard" Aisu says

"So if you do it, it is ok but if I do it you gotta go call the police about" Taiyou said bitchly

"No no no, not like that. Don't you find it strange that there not even a crack in it" Aisu pointed out

"No. You're my girly sister that still a virgin that fantasizes about boys all day. Let me do it" Taiyou replied.

Taiyou then pulls out a metallic gauntlet and concentrates chakra into the gauntlet and unleashes on the wall. Large amounts of dust falls of the wall and one crack size of a CD appears.

"There is something not right with this wall' they both say is unison. The wall then starts rumbling and divides where the crack was made. In the hole that appeared they could only see black. With this new found excitement, Taiyou sprints into the unknown. Aisu, with mixed feeling about the current situation, proceeds cautiously but accelerates to her low-attention span sister. For what seemed like hours Aisu ran down a never ending corridor what also did not help is that see couldn't see and she constantly bump into walls were ever she went. Aisu started to feel the wall trying to find if she missed anything and found a handle. She tried to pull said handle. On her first attempt she heard someone yell "arrrrgggghhh, what the hell are you doing". Aisu unsure of what was going on tried again. 'Too much pain" was the reply. Aisu, believing that she now knew this was no ordinary handle began to use it appropriately "hey that wasn't half bad" she was told. Only now did she realise that it wasn't a handle she had grasped, she screamed and a light was turned on showing her a group of shady people wearing identical clothes. She was gobsmacked when she realised who she had just fondled.

"y-y-you, KISAME!" Aisu yelled all girly and giggly. She looks down to figure out if she is at that stage yet. When she look, Kisame pants were still on. "YOU EXIST' Aisu yelled. Kisame just goes "No shit". Out of nowhere, Aisu hears muffled noise. Then Aisu yells "Shut up Taiyou. Wait Taiyou, where are you?" Taiyou then kicks shady figure in the toes and the world record of the most swear word in one sentence begins.

Then the blue-haired shady figure says "Why must you be so immature Hidan".

Hidan says back "because I am the fucking number one disciple of the god Jashin you motherfucking heatherns".

The Blonde-haired figure says "Don't antagonize him, Konan. You'll make it worse".

Pumpkin-masked shady figure says something like a child "Deidara-sempai, what does antagonize mean?"

Menacing shady figure said "Tobi, do you know what a dictionary is"

Tobi then asked "What's a dictionary Kakuzu"

Teenager looking shady figure says "This is taking too long. Wake me up when this is over"

Then Deidara said "Sasori my man, your impatience amazes me"

Then Tobi asked "what's impatience Deidara-sempai"

A flaming-haired shady figure then appears behind Tobi and cracks him over his head with an encyclopaedia and orders "Sasori, while you're going, take this idiot with you".

Then a shady figure with piercing eyes said "Must you be so harsh on him leader".

The leader replied "The names Pain and yes. If you do not know what a dictionary is, you will be re-educated". "So now that you know how we are as people can't keep identities secret around here, who the fuck are you two" Pain asked.

Taiyou began "Well I…" Aisu grabs pair of socks and shoves them in Taiyou mouth. Aisu says (with constant muffling noise in the background) "We are ninja who have been banished from our homes and we accidently stumbled upon this wall-thingy that may have been your house but seeing as we don't have a home do you have enough room and would be ok if we stay here."

Pain is deep in thought "I don't know about this, how will you benefit us" he asked

Taiyou managing to get rid of sock and says "While I am your go-to ninja for smashing things up"

Then Aisu says "I eviscerate people for breakfast".

Voice from behind her says "Are you being serious about that".

Aisu turns around really quickly and sees a man head protruding from a wall if you can call that a man.

New voice from same location says "How you doing"

Aisu now not afraid of anything because Kisame is here punches strange creature. Strange creature not knowing this is coming gets the full force in the face. Strange creature ejects plant-like mouth from where shoulder would have been and clamps around her head. Aisu hears what see thinks is the darker form of the strange creature call out "Surpriiiiiiiiiise, I am going to you face!"

Pain says from outside yell "Is that any way to treat a guest Zetsu"

Zetsu replies "No, but it is the perfect way to treat dinner"

Then Kisame roared louder "If you eat her, I eat you Zetsu"

Zetsu begin to talk between himself in the plants thing "**Hey this could be fun**" the darker side said.

"You think being digested in someone's stomach is fun" the lighter side replied.

**"That's not what I meant, we get to eat Kisame from the inside" **the darker side explained.

"You think we will be alive at that stage" the lighter side said.

**"I don't know, we have survived many other things before" **the darker side replied.

"You're not thinking straight, you do not know how much digestive juices burn" the lighter side said.

**"That just means we will have to eat faster than doesn't it" **the dark side remarked.

"What happens if he poisons use first" the light side argued.

**"Then we're fucked" **the dark side said.

"Then what is your answer than" Pain yelled

Then both said at the same time "Fuck it, She's yours"

Returning to the world of the living, She noticed Taiyou and Kakuzu were missing. She paid no heed as she threw herself into the arms of Kisame and cried. Kisame then hugged back but hugged her around the back of her head. Aisu felt her dreams coming to light but then we it was too late she noticed her oxygen levels fading and she drifted completely out of consciousness. When she work up, she was still wearing all her clothes. (and you thought the lemon started now)

She was lying on a bed though and Kisame was standing by the door to make sure no one came in. She looked towards him and sat up "Thank you for what you have done Kisame" Aisu said.

"Don't mention it. Zetsu not normally that aggressive to people unless it's is dinner" Kisame replied.

"I was almost Aisu sashimi" Aisu exclaimed.

"I didn't mean to make it worse, I just wanted to help" Kisame yelled back.

"I didn't know you were trying to help" Aisu said quietly.

"So how's the weather been" Kisame said.

"Why are you talking about the weather? I almost got eaten.

Kisame then goes "Ok. Umm so then how do you think the current Hokage is doing?"

"Are you serious right now" Aisu said

Kisame cringing said "What sort of music do you like?"

Aisu replied "Alright Kisame, one more chance or I leave the room"

Kisame walks over and sits next to Aisu and grabs her hands and kisses her. Aisu was stunned but did not show it. She sat there immobilized by the sudden action. The feel of lip on lip and the emotion connection between the two shinobi. They both lifted up one hand, put it behind the others head and pushed the other closer. They had some sort of mental connection because everything they did next was perfectly synchronized. They both pushed their tongues to the very edge of their lips. They both felt a sudden jolt of excitement when their tongues met. Aisu pushed Kisame on to the bed, eager to be the ultimate fan girl. The continued pashing for ten minutes while twirling and rolling around. They then opened their eyes and looked into each other's eyes, they could feel each other warmth. Kisame then made an X sigh with his fingers and Aisu nodded her head. Kisame then proceeded to lift up Aisu's top. Aisu heard her heart pounding. She didn't want it to stop. And when her dream were about to come true, the door creak open and Tobi sprinted in. Then Tobi screamed "Kisame, Kisame, Tobi has awesome news".

Kisame being nice asked Tobi what the problem is and Tobi explains the he found Taiyou and Kakuzu and I will repeated with Hidan's words "The were getting frisky in the Akatsuki vault, hot and heavy and connected in all the right places.". Then Aisu in a saddened roar said "How can Taiyou get it before I did". Aisu then rolled off Kisame, hugged a pillow and moved side to side. Kisame knowing the time has passed, bowed with his thanks to Aisu and then proceeded out of the room towards the kitchen. Aisu then lays down and wonders at her new experience and her anger at her **little** sister at the fact that had sex before her. Aisu closes her eyes and fall asleep.

Kisame, currently in the kitchen, proceeds to make a tuna supreme sandwich. Deidara hanging around kitchen because he was bored tried to make some without clay for a change. He looks over at Kisame fine cuisine and says "Whatcha doing" and Kisame says "Feeling aftermath of being cockblocked".

Deidara then says "ergh, who did it?"

"Tobi. Can you believe that" Kisame replied

Deidara replies "Was not expecting Tobi to be the one to do that"

"Even though it was my first actual time, I was right there, right on the edge of V and not V" Kisame exclaimed

"You were about to go mining for gold?" Deidara asked

"I wasn't at that stage but I was practically there" Kisame explained

"So you were peeling back the orange before you dug into it?" Deidara asked

"Yeah, I was there" Kisame replied.

Deidara asks "Are you feeling all right?"

Kisame replies "That's another thing, no one gets angry at you for asking people if their alright"

Deidara asked "Did you have a rough time of it before you got into it?"

"Yeah, I just… couldn't think of what to say that would advance the plot, so to speak" Kisame explains.

"Well you ended up really good for a first-timer who isn't very good at it now didn't you?" Deidara says.

"At least I now know I have the potential to get to the final round, heh heh." Kisame muses.

"Now go and make another portion of that Tuna Supreme you've got there, give me the recipe and go and have lunch with your girl." Deidara instructed.

"Okay, time to be the awesome and understanding boyfriend, at least that's what I think I have to be now isn't it?" Kisame ponders.

"Just go and converse over the meal" Deidara says.

When Kisame walked back into his room he found Aisu asleep, snoring and a slight amount of drool on the pillow around her mouth. He then looked at the pillow to find it had a picture of him on it. He then understood why he got so far so quickly. Aisu then start to wake up while sniffing and said "Food".

Kisame says "I cook it myself"

Aisu replies " Wow, you can cook"

"I also clean, mow lawns, repair faulty pipes and electrical wiring AND last but not least, I clean pools." Kisame pronounced (like an advertisement)

"Wow your quite the handyman aren't you Kisame?" Aisu teased

"Yes, I can do quite a number of things with my hands, some of which I can show you at a later date." Kisame said

"Whoa Kisame, we only just got together" Aisu interjected

"I meant no offence, if that is what was brought forth, we were going to go all the way and I thought that speaking like this would be okay with you. I thought you would like it." Kisame explained

Aisu sorted her emotions out and replied "I do like it, I love it in fact, but Tobi…"

"Why are you letting that incident with Tobi get in the way, I'll just soundproof the room and lock the door with 3 bolts from top to bottom, there will be NO interruptions this time." Kisame brought forward

"Okay then handyman, show me your finer talents" Aisu said

Kisame then bolted the door, from top to bottom and cast a special jutsu developed solely by him for such an occasion which completely soundproofed the room, he even set off an explosion in the room to catch Deidara's attention but no answer came.

The two newfound lovers then proceeded to begin where they left off.

Aisu was on top of Kisame. Kisame began to proceed as before but with a newfound speed. He hasten because he did not want to be interrupted even know he could not be interrupted. Aisu had no problem with this as this is what she wanted for so long. After peeling off the top layer Kisame then proceeded to bring freedom to the great gummies of girliness (sp?) but then Kisame stops and asks Aisu " Why do you where wrappings around your breasts?".

Aisu replies "So they don't get in the way when I fight"

"Oooooo" Kisame replies

"And so that most male attention is diverted from me to my sister when shopping" Aisu added

"Well you have my full attention now, let me just, relieve you of those bindings" Kisame said

Kisame then began to unwrap the bandages but they got tangled in no time so he used one of his most unique attributes to counteract this, he began using his shark-like teeth to tear at the bandages and finally release them in all their bouncy, squishy and shiny glory. Then he realizes that she is still wearing a bra.

"Unfair" Kisame said sadly

"You can undo it, It is simple" Aisu replied

Kisame then starts to undo the bra, fumbles with it and goes "Fuck it" and rips it apart and throws it away.

"Hey, now you owe me a new one" Aisu exclaimed

Kisame as a reply goes and kisses Aisu while flipping her over. Aisu squeals at the sudden movement and Kisame uses that opportunity to get his tongue in Aisu's mouth. They continue to make-out until they have to pull away for breath. After that Aisu tugs on Kisame's top signalling him to take it off. Kisame remembering his conversation with Deidara from earlier now knows he has achieved victory. He grabs Aisu's hands and guides them to the bottom of his shirt. Aisu then proceeds to slide it clean off Kisame. Kisame aches his back so she can achieve this. Kisame then presses his gut against hers and then gingerly places his hands on her breasts and rotates them in opposite directions. Aisu wasn't but should have been expecting this, and due to the sudden sensation, moans at a rather loudly. Kisame then muffles her cries with his. Aisu had never felt like this and now knows how hard nipples can get. She then pushes Kisame off her, throwing him into mass confusion. Aisu then undoes her belt and takes it off. Kisame now understanding what's going on, grabs her pants by the ankles and pulls them off. Kisame was about to take her underwear off before he was stopped.

Kisame then says "What gives?"

Aisu replies with "I can't be the only naked one can I?"

Kisame goes "Oh, right" and strips his pants off in one sweep. Aisu then realizes he was not as muscly as she thought he was. Aisu then points out that "You looked a lot stronger on the trading cards"

"That's what Photoshop and make-up does to you" Kisame replies

"You wore make-up?" Aisu asks

"It was part of the contract that I had signed previous, I couldn't refuse" Kisame explains

Aisu asked "You had to sign a contract."

Kisame replied "Yes I did but Photoshop ain't got nothing on this". Kisame then removes his boxers to reveal his 'harpoon'. Kisame then goes "I call it Kisamehada".

Then Aisu says "I believe we have met before".

"Would you like to reintroduce yourselves" Kisame replies.

"Don't mind if I do" Aisu says back.

Aisu begins researching-

Jiraya:"HEY THAT'S MY LINE"

-the exterior of the male penis. She began to slightly squeeze, rub, stroke and fondle it.

"Looking to join the cult of the dick are you" Kisame said lustfully. Aisu replies with "I don't know, maybe later."

The more she manipulated his weapon of war, the more he lost his voice in a quivering haze. Aisu began to pick-up the pace then Kisame said "Woah, woah, woah, if you keep going like that, it will be over before it begins".

"And when does it begin" Aisu replied seductively.

Kisame replied "Right about now". Kisame then moves Aisu's underwear to the side and plunges into her. Aisu screams in sudden pain but that changes to a sound of immense enjoyment and pleasure. Kisame still believing the situation is ok, began to pound into her. Aisu felt slightly uncomfortable but the over-amount of pleasure prevented her from receding. This continued for about twenty minutes until Kisame slipped and fell out and Aisu sat up. Then Kisame asked "Is something wrong?"

Then Aisu said "Position change, now".

"To what" Kisame asked.

"To something were I'm in control" Aisu replied.

"What did you have in mind" Kisame replies.

"I don't know. I thought you would suggest something' Aisu explained. Kisame then proposed she feels what the top feel like. So they twisted around for a bit of a joy ride. Aisu asked "Is this going to hurt like hell on re-entry".

Kisame says "It shouldn't. It's only supposed to happen once".

Aisu said "I'm trusting you on this one"

Aisu very slowly lower herself until she is in the right spot then she dropped. As she did this she realized the pain was only for the first moment. Then she began to bounce on his dick, enjoying every vibration and shockwave. They were going at such speeds, it was like a piston in a roaring engine. Both Aisu and Kisame were making ear-splitting noise. Aisu pounded harder and Kisame kept bucking his hips in time with Aisu. Sweat was glistening off both of them and with an earth-shattering cry, they came simultaneously. Aisu then fell off Kisame, slipped and fell on the floor. Kisame went to help her out and rolled over, went to get out of bed, tripped over Aisu and knocked himself out. Aisu knowing the situation to be incredibly awkward dealt with it and fell asleep.

Thank you for ready and opinions will be welcomes


End file.
